Well, This is a Hard Subject to Write about… But it’s time I Grew up and told it.
Part 1: My life as a child
This is the story of how I rebuilt a life that was unintentionally destroyed. This is my story.
To tell this story right, I have to go back to the beginning, okay not that far.
I was an 11 year old with ambitions of doing great things. My parents were immigrants from India, they had a lot on their shoulders and mentally we were taught how to deal with it.
But I got lucky! I’ve been fortunate with how I grew up. I grew up a thriving kid in a body I felt comfortable with, I was a swimmer, I played basketball and I was willing to try any food I could find.
I grew up in a good state of mind, I had great people around me who uplifted me and supported me, I had a family who was open minded to the idea that I was human, I was fallible. My extended family expected perfection and I gave them that on some level.
I was a child and I thought the world was my oyster but little did I know that there were principles of life that would haunt me for life.
Part 2: Dissappointment After Dissappointment
This is where stuff goes sideways.
First, I got ‘sick’ at age 12. I was diagnosed with subclinical Epilepsy, something I suffer with today. I grew up from 12- 21 that way, I still struggle with it.
I went to school, I had people and friends who loved me and cared for me, or so I thought.
At age 13, I found out truly how much I was missing out on. I was bullied when I went to a private school for various reasons.
Things got better at 14, but then my health took a turn and I had to drop everything. My swim team, Sports, Boy Scouts, my grades, my social life to some degree, my humanity in one aspect, all thrown away for a health issue. My seizures had been dialed up to 11 and were becoming more frequent and harmful to me and my surroundings, it was time I became a medical detective and found the source.
But I was also bullied and racially picked on by the heads of my school at 15, that one was uncalled for. But yes, as an indian American teenager with a major health issue what I needed to do was slow down and figure everything out, and I did exactly that, by going to a racially non-inclusive, conservative, denominational as well as primarily socialite favored liberal arts school. I did what I had to do but it came at a cost.
At 16, I was picked on occasionally for the same reasons and I began reporting it, with negative consequences to my social life. I was also told I’d needed surgery, doctors were telling me it was a miracle I haven’t chronically injured my brain.
Part 3: Rebuilding
I had surgery when I was 16 years old, I was told if I didn’t have surgery, the condition could evolve into a brain tumor and could kill me. I’m fortunate to have found it in time.At 17, I started rebuilding.
You see, I was born with a condition called FCD, Focal Cordical Dysplasia. FCD producea blisters and Scar tissue in different areas of the brain and it’s usually an occurrence during childbirth but can also be genetic.This often happens if the baby is born with a C-section, though it’s also uncommon even then. FCD can manifest and swell up at any time creating blisters and other scar tissue in and around the brain causing Epilepsy and other brain and psychological deficiencies.
I had to rebuild everything including my identity from scratch. I was stronger for what I had been through and now I have to let that pay off.I rejoined my Boy Scout Troop and with in days I was on my way to rebuilding on what I had left behind. Within 14 months, I was an Eagle Scout. I reignited old social connections with friends and made some new ones.
At 18 years old, I was doing great and I was in my senior year of high school, my world it was great, because I went through some of the weirdest things and some of the most terrible things of my life and all at once and it made me stronger and before I turned 19, I began to change.
At 19,I Graduated High School and enrolled in college and I began to thrive, I began rebuilding my image and I started learning about money and investing on a budget. I began cataloging everything or some of the strangest things I learned. I relearned what social media was.
At 20, I was isolated, like the rest of the world, but I didn’t let that stop me, I kept learning and then in December of 2020, I started, The Finance Spot, a blog written, curated and listed all by me, I also enrolled in University. I am now pursuing a CyberSecurity Degree(BBA) with a minor in Economics.
At 21, I was thriving as well. I started a Podcast. I tried to learn TikTok, sadly, it didn’t work, I just don't have the time or the energy to put that much effort into itI learned to cope and thrive off of my skills and sicknesses.
I am currently working on developing my podcast further and working on new plans to help others with Podcasting,Blogging and other content creating as well. I’ve been on one other podcast talking about how I dealt with my issues.
So How did I rebuild?
If your thinking of looking up to Me, let me tell you something,I’m flattered,but please don’t.
My circumstances were a one in a million case, I still suffer with Subclinical seizures, just I'm not in any serious danger, I still live with the emotional pain and I have regrets about doing certain things. I’m human, I made many many mistakes along the way and some of them cost me years. The only reason I was able to grow was because I learned one simple trait.
Your job in life is to consistently evolve so that you can grow. You evolve by experiencing different things. Sadness, love, passion, happiness are just a few of the things that you may feel.
The world is the way it is and your job is to live the best life you can. I can’t tell you how you do that because in reality even I don’t know, I only know how to move past things and move on.
Every issue I’ve dealt with had it’s own solution, for me it was a matter of solving each thing with as few consequences in any way as possible. For example, I was bullied and racially attacked, I took the insults in, did something about it and moved on.I was faced with a life changing health issue, I learned about it, found ways to mitigate and found a way to move on.
Everything in life has it’s own way of doing two things, making you feel at ease or making you suffer or experience growth, in some cases. It’s up to you to determine how you’re gonna live.
Making yourself feel at ease might be a preferred way to go, but ultimately, you’re the one whose gonna have to live with those consequences. You’re better of making yourself experience growth because at the end of the day, a grown person is better at dealing with the obstacles of life.
It’s not that you can live at ease, it’s just that that’s not how people grow, we grow by having to make hard decisions. Those hard decisions shape us and allow us in some way to grow.
In conclusion, I went through an issue, one that could have had fatal consequences, I spent years learning about the issues at costs that impacted my life. I learned to love, and do everything including rebuild myself based on the decisions I made. I learned a special skill on which helped see the world I see it today.
Re-entering my life wasn’t easy, in fact it required lots of time and thought to really sink in and evolve. I’m thankful for the way my life played out and it’s taught me some valuable lessons about life and love. One lesson that it taught me was that, life only comes once so you live while your young and reflect on the past, while you’re old. Do it any differently and you'll see a different result. This definitely does not mean be reckless. Be free and live with as few regrets as possible.
Please Check out my Blog on Medium and I’ll link my Podcast in the entry somewhere.